Humbled

My husband and I almost got into a huge fight today. We're moving to a new place in two weeks, so we spent our Saturday afternoon sorting and packing some of our stuff. My husband apologized to the prospective tenant for having to view our room while it was in a state of mess. When the guy left, I told my husband that he shouldn't have apologized -- well, we're moving out soon, what can he expect?? A messy room, NATURALLY.

It obviously upset him. I sensed the tension in his tone as he asked what's the point of telling him off, when it clearly wouldn't change anything anymore. It got me so annoyed because I thought it was such a condescending response from him. I expressed that I didn't deserve to be responded to that way because what I said was just so simple and straightforward. He said that he was offended. To which I replied that correcting him was not meant to offend him. And I went on to accuse him of having double standards because he has corrected me in the past, but I never took offense to it. Can you imagine how irked he was at that point? (In hindsight, comparing myself with him was even worse) You see, it's a struggle for my husband to make a rebuttal when he's at the peak of his emotions. He has to be calm and composed to gather his thoughts. Of course, that seems impossible when you're in the moment of dealing with anger. His inability to "counter-attack" immediately would seriously frustrate him, which would lead to a major drama-filled argument. In the contrary, I am always ready with an answer. E says it's like I'm unleashing my inner lawyer/debater whenever we argue. Oops.

I stayed silent and tried to ignore him as he whimpered to himself. I was expecting him to confront me again, so I was sort of 'preparing' in my head. About five minutes later, he called me: "Baby..." in a very calm tone. To my surprise, he asked me to lay down beside him. As much as I was touched by his unexpected mood shift in such a short span of time, I also felt guilty for thinking the worse of him. So I lay down beside him and he just embraced me without saying a word. Two minutes later, he explained why he felt offended earlier. Turns out, my correction was said in a harsh tone. I felt so embarrassed for not even realizing it!  E explained that he was just trying to be polite to the prospective tenant, that's why he apologized. He said that he could have humbly accepted my correction if it was said in a nicer tone.

I felt so bad realizing how careless I was that I've hurt my husband's feelings. I hugged him so tightly and said sorry for my words and actions that were uncalled for. He hugged me back and kissed me on the forehead. Thank You Lord for blessing me with a forgiving husband.

Our little argument could have snowballed into something worse, but my husband chose to initiate a gracious way of settling our misunderstanding -- even if it's not his fault. I WAS DEEPLY HUMBLED. This experience taught me these things:

1. Do not assume the worst of your partner. He/She deserves to be given the benefit of the doubt. Remember, loving a person means always having his/her best interests at heart.

2. The way you say something makes all the difference. I think the quote below best explains this.

3. You can initiate to make amends even if you are not at fault. Being able to do this is a sign of humility and maturity. It also says a lot about just how much you love your partner, giving more importance to your relationship than your hurt feelings.

4. It is important in a marriage to be good forgivers. I pray to have a heart that is always willing to ask for forgiveness, as well as to forgive. Whenever I struggle in this area, I think about Jesus and how many times He has forgiven us despite committing the same sins over and over again. If Jesus can forgive THAT much -- considering that He took our place on the cross and saved us from our sins -- then why can't we, more so the person we love most?

Compromise

One of the most important things that I've learned in marriage is the power of COMPROMISE. My husband and I, despite our many similarities, do not always want the same things. This is where compromise needs to come in. One of us has to "give way" to the other. Sometimes "meeting halfway" could also be a good idea. The bottomline is, we have to have a mutual agreement so that we're both happy.

The message exchange below shows how my husband and I compromised with each other recently.

As you can see, compromise may involve bargaining sometimes. Hahaha!!

Sorry if it's a shallow example, but i'm sure you get the point :)

P.S. Please ignore the fact that my husband loves Sam and Cat. This is the man I fell in love with -- don't judge. :P

Recent Blessings

HOORAYYYYY FOR THE LONG WEEKEND!!!! Yayyyy, happy dance!! I’ve been looking forward to this long weekend for so long because I’ve been working for two months straight. No vacation or medical leave. Thank God I haven’t been sick except for the occasional headaches and sniffles. Tonight will be dinner with the girls, then we’re having a camping trip tomorrow until Sunday. I’m so excited!

Today is my mom’s 54th birthday. People still get shocked when they find out her age because she looks no where near 50s. Sometimes people even mistake us for sisters! She looks like she’s only in her late 30s or early 40s. I wish that I’d age gracefully as she does. :)

My family moved into my parents' newly-purchased condominium unit in Commonwealth a few days ago. The photo above was taken last night when they had a simple birthday salubong for Mommy. It makes me so happy to see my parents enjoying where they are and what they have right now. I know one of the reasons why they purchased this condo unit is because it is easier to maintain. Also, it is literally next-door to my mom’s office. Of course, our Novaliches house will always be our home. But we are all very excited to build a new home that is more convenient for everyone location-wise. Hehehe. :D

I’m happy to hear that my sister’s wedding preparations are coming together smoothly, save for a few minor stress bouts. As much as I want to be with her in her gown fittings and assist in their prenup shoot, I’m glad that I’m still able to help her as a ‘consultant’. I appreciate that she keeps me in the loop in practically all aspects of her wedding — from reception setup, invitation design, motif, gowns, flowers, etc. I appreciate that my opinion matters to her, not only on wedding matters, but even on something as simple as her outfit for the day.

Work has been good. Really good. Everyday I thank the Lord for blessing me with this job in a great environment, and being able to work alongside awesome people. I honestly didn’t expect to be able to adjust this smoothly. I thank the Lord for the wisdom and knowledge He continues to bless me with.

That’s a photo of me and my new colleagues in one of the social events organized by our Business Development team for our students. My boss treated us to a huge pork knuckle platter.

I am thankful that I get to go home early enough to prepare home-cooked dinner for my husband.

Thanks to Pinterest, I’ve been learning new dishes to cook, the latest one as shown above is chicken spinach. It’s not only fairly easy to make, but it’s delicious and healthy too. My husband liked it a lot that I cooked this dish for two consecutive days, haha.

I know I haven’t blogged for a long time and I plan to catch up in the next few weeks! September has been pretty eventful, and I would like to document it as much as I can. Have I mentioned that we’ve already booked plane tickets for our Christmas vacation? After spending two consecutive Christmases here in Singapore, E and I are beyond thrilled to be back home this year! Also, we’re planning for our anniversary trip (I can’t believe it’s been almost a year since we got married!!!). Since I just transferred to a new company, I have limited annual leaves. We’re thinking of a 3D2N trip somewhere in Asia. The top choices at the moment are Phuket, Hong Kong, and Bangkok. I am very thankful that I have a lot of things to look forward to. :)

The One Where I'm a Charlotte

A few days ago, I chanced upon Sex and the City the movie on HBO. I remember one of my girl friends remarked that I’m “such a Charlotte”, as we compared our mannerisms to that of the characters’.

Samantha: Relationships aren’t just about being happy. I mean, how often are you happy in your relationship?
Charlotte: Every day.
Samantha: Every day?
Charlotte: Well, not all day every day – but yes, every day.

I loved that quote. I think she described my relationship perfectly. Sometimes I get easily upset at something my husband said or did, and we may fight over the most stupid things. But those moments are just bits and pieces, few and far between. I am genuinely happy (happiest) when I’m with him. Every day. Not all day, every day, but definitely every day.

There was another scene where she’s in bed with Harry after a long day of hearing about everyone else’s failed relationships. She looks at him and says something to the effect of, “Thank you for being you.” Simple, sweet, and totally melted my heart.

At another point in the movie, she has one of her little freak-outs, and talks about how there’s no way things could go so well for one person, and she’s just waiting for something terrible to happen. This same thing lurks at the back of my mind sometimes. My life has had its ups and downs, but for the most part, it’s been so easy, so amazing, and things have just fallen into place. Despite whatever impending terribleness that may lie ahead, the kind of life where you’re able to think ‘there’s no way things can go so well’ is one that I’m quite blessed to be living.

I am now embracing my inner Charlotte, and it felt really good to just step back and realize how beautiful things are, how incredible my life has been, how blessed I am. I hope to never take this for granted.

Grace Under Stress

This morning, as early as 6:15 AM, I’ve been receiving updates from the IRIS (transpo) app on my phone that there’s a train fault in the North East line. What a bummer, because this is my daily route. It’s only my first week in my new job and I certainly don’t want to be late. Naturally, I hurried up, anticipating the possible delay. We left the house fifteen minutes earlier than usual, so I was thinking I could probably still reach the office by 8:30. E and I walked to the bus stop right across our block, and thankfully there’s bus 43 that could bring us to Serangoon station. One-north is the nearest station to my office, and it’s just a straight 25-minute train ride from Serangoon. It all sounded great in my head, until bus 43 arrived — super packed, with literally no room even for one additional passenger. There were shuttle buses available, but those were filled to the brim as well. Anxiety and stress kicked in sooner than I wanted to. How dyahe to be late on my first week at work. I reminded myself that this is a situation that is beyond my control, so stressing over it is absolutely useless.

Fifteen minutes later, another bus 43 came, and this time it could fit in the passengers waiting at our bus stop. Hallelujah!!! But why are we moving at such a slooowwww speed? Is that a traffic jam building up?? What happened to the very systematic and efficient transportation system that this country is known for? UGHHHH. At this point, it felt like the universe was conspiring against me. OA and exagg, yes, but it seriously got me so stressed! :( Thank heavens, my husband — my stress-reliever, the voice of reason in my life — was with me. He told me to calm down and just pray. It sure is easier said than done. But the fact is, worrying and stressing out wouldn’t change anything.

So what’s the best thing to do in a time like this? I chose to look at the brighter side. I thanked God for the good weather. Imagine if there was a heavy downpour while people are walking to the nearest MRT station that is not affected by the power outage. Oh my, it would have definitely sucked so bad. I thanked God that there’s a bus stop just across our HDB, and that there’s bus 43 (going to Serangoon MRT) there. Otherwise, we would have been one of those people who had to take a loooong walk under the scorching heat of the sun. I thanked God that even if we were stuck in traffic, at least we were sitting comfortably inside the air-conditioned bus. I could just imagine how BUGNOT I would have been! Hahaha! I thanked God for the IRIS app, otherwise I would have taken my sweet time preparing, had I not known beforehand that there was a train fault, and I would have been even more late than I already was. And of course, I thanked God for my handsome (among other adjectives I could use to describe him, haha) husband who soooo patiently dealt with me and my ridiculous stress levels! Praise God for you, my love!

I reached the office at 8:45. Fifteen minutes late. And I walked into an EMPTY office. Hah! So I was actually stressing out over NOTHING! Hahaha. What I am most grateful for is the grace that enabled me to see brighter side of things, despite the (unreasonable) stress and anxiousness. :)

The Magic of Beginnings

Two weeks ago, I tendered my resignation from my current post in the company I have worked for the past two years. I haven’t secured a new job yet when I resigned. I know it’s not exactly a pragmatic move. It’s actually stupid in a way, because it would mean jumping into a sea of uncertainty. However, it wasn’t decided on impulse. I have been praying for it for months, so I believe that it’s a well-guided decision. I admit that it was scary as hell. At first, it was all relief, that finally I can focus on my search for “greener pastures”. But thinking of the what-ifs sort of made me panic. What if I’ll be out of job for too long? I’d definitely go crazy. What if we wipe out our funds before I find a new job? How will we survive here in Singapore? And the list goes on…

I didn’t like the feeling, and it was the total opposite of the unwavering faith in God that I am striving to have, so I decided to give myself a little flashback to the many other instances He had saved me and Erick. We’ve been in similar situations before. How could I forget the prayers that have been answered in a timing that couldn’t be more perfect? How could I forget how each detour ultimately led us to His answers? How could I forget the small and big miracles He has done in my life?

Remembering all these led me to ask myself how could I even doubt God and His greatness. I felt ashamed of myself. So I apologized to God, and I could almost hear him say to me, “My child, why are you still worrying when you have already prayed?” I teared up because I know in my heart that it is definitely God speaking.

Tomorrow is my first day in my new job. My heart is filled with gratitude for this answered prayer. My great God has once again orchestrated everything to fall into their proper places just for me. I am so blessed to be a recipient of His inexhaustible grace.

This whole experience re-emphasized to me that:

1. Worrying is completely useless. When you pray for something, trust that God has control over it and He’s got everything taken care of. I read somewhere that SURRENDER is God’s love language. That’s exactly what we need to do — surrender all our worries, anxieties, pains, fears unto the Lord because He knows what He’s doing.

2. Don’t be afraid to take risks. As I mentioned earlier, I haven’t secured a new job yet when I resigned from my previous job. I just had this nagging feeling that I couldn’t shake off, so in my mind, I really HAD TO do it – by hook or by crook. I was praying “Lord, Kayo na po ang bahala.” over and over again. When I listed down the reasons why I was resigning and concluded that the situation I was in is not what God wants for me, that’s when I found the courage to do it. I’d like to believe that the courageous ones — those who are not afraid to jump into a sea of uncertainty without a life vest — are being rewarded by the Lord. :)

3. Have a grateful heart, no matter what. When the struggles and frustrations at work were on its all-time high, I was feeling demoralized and unmotivated. I knew I had to do something to prevent it from tarnishing the other aspects of my life. I am so grateful that God has given me the grace to continue reading my daily devotionals from Joseph Prince, Joyce Meyer, and Rick Warren. I was inspired by these devotionals to always see the brighter side of things. And that despite the struggles, there is always, ALWAYS something to be thankful for. The more I made a conscious effort to focus more on the things that make me happy, the more capable I became to overlook the unpleasant parts of my life. Having the attitude of gratitude puts things in perspective.

Although I’ve learned all these in theory over the years, I sometimes forget how to apply it in real life. I am grateful that a ‘dark’ phase in my life made me re-learn these three important things. It is only through God’s grace that something horrible could turn into something beautiful.

I admit I am a bit anxious of the adjustment I need to go through, but I am also excited to learn more and work with intelligent and hardworking people. I am in this for the long haul. And so, I pray that I will be able to honor and glorify God through the work of my hands in this new company that He has blessed me with. I pray for the new relationships that I will be building. I pray that my wisdom and knowledge that will be made full use in my new role. I pray that I will be able to grow professionally and personally. I pray that I may be a blessing to my new colleagues.

No Other Name

Hello friends! I just want to share with you this song from Hillsong’s new album which was released just recently. Been playing this on repeat ever since I came to know this song. It has become my default morning worship song for about a week now, and I mean every single word in my heart of hearts. I love how it speaks of God’s sheer beauty and splendor, I am left in awe over and over again.

His face, shines brighter than the sun 

His grace, as boundless as his love

He reigns, with healing in his wings

The King above all kings

The greatest one of all

Truly, God’s power and greatness is incomparable. I love how the song gives us a clear picture of its extent. I will never get tired of singing praise for Him who is the source of everything that I have. It is my way of celebrating His constant presence in my life. Sometimes I feel that the words of praise in my prayers are inadequate because His love is just too overwhelming to put into words. It’s just really the way it is, and we have no choice but to bask in it. What a wonderful blessing and privilege it is to be recipients of God’s unearned, unmerited, and undeserved grace. And for that, I am infinitely grateful. :)