No Greater Love Than His

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It still blows my mind how someone could be so selfless to give up his own life for the sake of mankind. I remember watching The Passion of the Christ more than ten years ago. I was bawling my eyes out because I couldn't believe that Jesus went through such kind of sacrifice. The portrayal was so convincing, that I could almost feel Jesus' pain through my skin even if I was just watching it on the big screen. 

He went through unimaginable pain to redeem us from our sins. He died on the cross so we could live and receive God's overflowing grace. It may be overwhelming to be a recipient of such great love, but that's just the way it is -- whether we deserve it or not. Nothing can ever separate us from the love of God. There is nothing I can say, but THANK YOU LORD. It is an amazing privilege to be loved THIS MUCH by You. I pray that I could do something in this lifetime that could make me feel worthy of Your love. Thank You for everything.

Seeing For the First Time

It's like I'm seeing for the first time
Like You opened my eyes to show me
Everything I've missed before
And I want more

How many years did You plan this moment here
To show me how You love me

Thoughts while on board Bus 88

It dawned on me during my prayer time this morning that I ask for a lot of things from God. Ironically, at the end of the day, I don’t really feel that I’m lacking anything in my life. Although of course it would be nice to have our own house, a car, a successful business, and our very own baby — I honestly feel that I’ve got everything I need to live a happy life. It took me years of angst and push and pull with my faith before I got to this state. To experience how it is to be truly content with what I have. I learned over the years that having the proper mindset plays a huge part. I’ve probably heard hundreds of times from my daily devotionals that we must focus on what we have, not on what we don’t have. It is by doing so that we are able to cultivate the attitude of gratitude in our lives. My life is not perfect, but it’s pretty great. I realized that my husband, my family, and my God are all I’ll ever really need.

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Last night, my husband and I ate out for dinner. We went to Manhattan Fish Market at Junction8 mall. We had home-cooked meals for the past 4 days so we decided to eat out for a change. I’m not going to talk about the food because I have nothing nice to say about it. But I will mention how much I appreciated the staff who served us. She was warm and friendly the moment we stepped into the store, and she made sure that we were comfortable. She was too nice, that I didn’t have the heart to give a negative feedback when she asked how our food was. I’m writing about this because it’s such a rare occurrence here.

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One thing I am most thankful for is being able to witness how my husband is growing in his faith in the Lord. These are some of our conversations these past few days that are evident to that.

Conversation #1:

me: Waah ang lakas ng ulan! Kainis naman, kung kelan pauwi na.
E: Nag pray na ‘ko kay God, titila din ‘yan bago ka umalis diyan sa office mo.
me: Eh 30 minutes na lang aalis na ako, sobrang lakas pa rin.
E: Titila ‘yan.  

True enough, the rain stopped just before I left the office. I was amazed because it was raining so hard just a few minutes back. My husband seemed 100% sure when he said that the rain will stop. And it did. I doubted, but I was proven wrong. I find it reassuring to have a husband with such strong faith in God — both in the trivial and life-defining things.

Conversation #2:

E: Baby, hindi binigay yung (salary) increase. Pero ok lang, pinagdasal ko naman na ‘to kay Lord. Baka sa ibang bagay ako i-bless.

When I read the first sentence, I was about to tell my husband to start looking for another job because he deserves a company that would reward him for his hard work. Bitterness was slowly filling up my heart, yet there he was, at peace despite the disappointment. Instead, he stayed positive, claiming that he will surely be blessed in another way. It’s humbling and it made me reflect on how I deal with my unanswered prayers. It reminded me that no matter what happens in my life, God will always know better. After all, He is the Big Guy up there who created us according to His image and likeness; the One who orchestrates every piece of our lives to fall into place.

And what do you know, the increase came the next day! Apparently, E’s boss just forgot about it. What a generous God we have! :) I am so grateful that I am married to someone who I learn soooo much from.

Grace Under Stress

This morning, as early as 6:15 AM, I’ve been receiving updates from the IRIS (transpo) app on my phone that there’s a train fault in the North East line. What a bummer, because this is my daily route. It’s only my first week in my new job and I certainly don’t want to be late. Naturally, I hurried up, anticipating the possible delay. We left the house fifteen minutes earlier than usual, so I was thinking I could probably still reach the office by 8:30. E and I walked to the bus stop right across our block, and thankfully there’s bus 43 that could bring us to Serangoon station. One-north is the nearest station to my office, and it’s just a straight 25-minute train ride from Serangoon. It all sounded great in my head, until bus 43 arrived — super packed, with literally no room even for one additional passenger. There were shuttle buses available, but those were filled to the brim as well. Anxiety and stress kicked in sooner than I wanted to. How dyahe to be late on my first week at work. I reminded myself that this is a situation that is beyond my control, so stressing over it is absolutely useless.

Fifteen minutes later, another bus 43 came, and this time it could fit in the passengers waiting at our bus stop. Hallelujah!!! But why are we moving at such a slooowwww speed? Is that a traffic jam building up?? What happened to the very systematic and efficient transportation system that this country is known for? UGHHHH. At this point, it felt like the universe was conspiring against me. OA and exagg, yes, but it seriously got me so stressed! :( Thank heavens, my husband — my stress-reliever, the voice of reason in my life — was with me. He told me to calm down and just pray. It sure is easier said than done. But the fact is, worrying and stressing out wouldn’t change anything.

So what’s the best thing to do in a time like this? I chose to look at the brighter side. I thanked God for the good weather. Imagine if there was a heavy downpour while people are walking to the nearest MRT station that is not affected by the power outage. Oh my, it would have definitely sucked so bad. I thanked God that there’s a bus stop just across our HDB, and that there’s bus 43 (going to Serangoon MRT) there. Otherwise, we would have been one of those people who had to take a loooong walk under the scorching heat of the sun. I thanked God that even if we were stuck in traffic, at least we were sitting comfortably inside the air-conditioned bus. I could just imagine how BUGNOT I would have been! Hahaha! I thanked God for the IRIS app, otherwise I would have taken my sweet time preparing, had I not known beforehand that there was a train fault, and I would have been even more late than I already was. And of course, I thanked God for my handsome (among other adjectives I could use to describe him, haha) husband who soooo patiently dealt with me and my ridiculous stress levels! Praise God for you, my love!

I reached the office at 8:45. Fifteen minutes late. And I walked into an EMPTY office. Hah! So I was actually stressing out over NOTHING! Hahaha. What I am most grateful for is the grace that enabled me to see brighter side of things, despite the (unreasonable) stress and anxiousness. :)

No Other Name

Hello friends! I just want to share with you this song from Hillsong’s new album which was released just recently. Been playing this on repeat ever since I came to know this song. It has become my default morning worship song for about a week now, and I mean every single word in my heart of hearts. I love how it speaks of God’s sheer beauty and splendor, I am left in awe over and over again.

His face, shines brighter than the sun 

His grace, as boundless as his love

He reigns, with healing in his wings

The King above all kings

The greatest one of all

Truly, God’s power and greatness is incomparable. I love how the song gives us a clear picture of its extent. I will never get tired of singing praise for Him who is the source of everything that I have. It is my way of celebrating His constant presence in my life. Sometimes I feel that the words of praise in my prayers are inadequate because His love is just too overwhelming to put into words. It’s just really the way it is, and we have no choice but to bask in it. What a wonderful blessing and privilege it is to be recipients of God’s unearned, unmerited, and undeserved grace. And for that, I am infinitely grateful. :)

Lenten Realizations

I decided to abstain from social media for three days, from Maundy Thursday until Black Saturday. I have been thinking for so long what to give up for Lent, and the lightbulb moment happened last Wednesday. For someone like me who checks Twitter, Facebook and Instagram multiple times in a day (to say the least), I could say that abstaining from these three sites feels like sacrifice. This is actually not the first time I thought of abstaining on social media for Lent. I’ve thought of this in the previous years, but sadly, I was not strong enough to give up something that is a huge part of my day-to-day living. What a shame, I know. I always had alibis, thinking that Twitter is my go-to site for current events, and I use Facebook as a communication tool. I guess what really made me finally go for it is my desire to receive and clearly understand God’s special message for me. Social media has lots of advantages, but sometimes it can be a source of noise that can cloud one's mind.

Today is Day 2 of being free from social media. The more I feel ‘disconnected’ with the rest of the world, the more I feel a closer, tighter connection with God. Sometimes, all we need is silence. Sharing with you some of my realizations these past two days:

1. God is doing everything to reach out to us. I admit there are times my prayer time is sacrificed due to my very busy schedule. I get home from work drained and exhausted from the day’s activities, that I find it a struggle to spare at least fifteen minutes of quality time with the Lord. God knows that people nowadays are too attached to smartphones. I have this Bible app on my phone which I use to read daily verses and devotionals. It even has several Bible plans that you can choose from, depending on the duration you’ll be comfortable with. Recently I discovered that the app actually has a reminder option. You set a time, and a notification will pop up on your phone/tablet. It is amazing how God worked through the app developers. He equipped them with wisdom and skills to turn the app into an instrument that would bridge the gap between us and God. He made this app somehow similar to a social networking app to make it more ‘appealing’ to us. This goes to show how much God wants to connect with us and how badly He wants to reveal Himself to us through His word.

2. God wants us to rely on His grace. I can distinctly remember a number of moments in my life wherein I’m stuck in (what seems to be) a dead end, feeling helpless and hopeless, debating with myself on what I should have done differently. God does not want us to be in a situation like that. Sometimes, all that is left to do is to acknowledge the fact that I cannot do things on my own and that I need God’s grace and guidance in every aspect of my life. Note of caution, though — this does not mean that we can be complacent. You know the saying ‘Do your best and God will do the rest’? This is basically the logic behind it. I think whenever I say “Lord, Ikaw na po ang bahala.“, it’s a bold statement of my dependence on Him. That He will not fail me. Looking back, He never did. Relying on God’s grace comes hand in hand with persistent prayer. It works for me every single time.

3. God thinks we’re worth it. There is no exception. It doesn’t matter how broken, sinful, undeserving, and messed up you think you are. God thinks you are worth it, and quite honestly, nothing can ever change that. If you think you are the most stubborn person in the world, well, think again. God is probably more stubborn than you in the sense that no matter how many times you push Him away, He will still love you. Unconditionally. Whether you like it or not. Every single day I wake up in the morning, I find myself thanking God for never giving up on me. I’d like to think that my relationship with Him now is more stable than ever, but it took time before I could reach to this point. And it’s all because the more lost I became, the tighter He held my hands.

And so, this Holy Week, I would like to thank the Lord for sending the most selfless person who has walked on earth. Thank You for giving us Your most precious son, Jesus Christ, who showed us what it really means to love. Thank You for remaining steadfast in Your love for us, despite and in spite of everything.

Do Not Worry

I am admittedly a worrier. I would love to say that I USED TO BE one, but even if I have improved over the past couple of years, I still have my worrier moments. Although this time less intense and less frequent. Honestly, it’s hard to not worry especially when it concerns the people I love most. I guess it’s all part of being human. I tend to worry about all sorts of things — health and safety of myself and my loved ones, future plans, finances, job security, etc. Yesterday’s gospel was such a beautiful reminder of why we SHOULD NOT worry.

"And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? "

– Matthew 6:30

 A friend once said that worrying is a form of insult to God. Since then, I became more conscious on worrying, because I definitely do not want to do anything that could insult my God who has been always been so faithful, loving and generous to me. What I started doing differently is to make prayer an immediate action. No more having my mind go on overdrive and thinking of worst-case scenarios before actually praying.

I have resolved that prayer should come first, and it does make a lot of difference. Doing so not only calms my heart, it also brings me in a peaceful state and gives me a clearer perspective on the matter, allowing me to focus and come up with a sensible action plan. This is just one of the many, many ways how utterly beautiful the gift of prayer is. In contrast, worrying is… completely useless. It makes you unproductive and leads you into the wrong direction.

Also, God is loving, powerful, and He is in control. Filling my mind with these thoughts is enough to make me put my full trust in Him. It calms my heart like no other.

"So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today." 

– Matthew 6:34

A Letter to My Great God

Dear God,

I’ve been staring at this blank page for a good fifteen minutes, trying to think of a BIG WORD worthy and appropriate enough to express my utmost gratitude to You. The thing is, You already know what’s exactly inside the core of my heart. You know exactly my thoughts and feelings even before I begin to say it out loud. For this reason alone, I am incredibly in awe of Your greatness.

You have filled my life with countless blessings, but in this very moment, I want to thank You for blessing me and my husband with a beautiful wedding two weeks ago. It is a day that we will look back to with immense joy many years from now. A day that is filled with warm hugs, smiles, laughter, and so much love from our families and loved ones. Every little thing that transpired on that day made my heart unbelievably happy. So much that I want to bottle up every little bit of memory from that beautiful day. Thank You for making our wedding day an ultimate testament that You are truly a God of answered prayers.

About three years ago, getting married seemed to be the most unlikely thing that could happen to me. As for Erick, he was broken and was dealing with complicated problems of his own. But You turned things around for us. You turned our lives around. You showed us that all the struggles and pain that we had to go through in the past is in fact leading us to Your grand plan for us. Thank You for holding my hand ever so tightly. Thank You for doing everything for me to keep my faith in You. It was all worth it.

Our wedding planning journey was not a walk in the park. We were faced with challenges in searching for suppliers, scheduling, decision making, finances, church requirements, differences in opinions/preferences, and many other things. All of those we were able to overcome because You have been with us every step of the way. One important lesson that I’ve learned is to pray, pray, and PRAY for every decision that has to be made for the wedding. We are certain that You have given Your seal of approval to all the suppliers we booked because all of them performed well beyond our expectations. And for this, we are very grateful. You even took care of the small details that made our wedding perfect in every way. I can’t find the words to accurately describe the extent of Your love and generosity.

Thank You for blessing me with so much more than what I could have ever imagined, and so much more than what I could ever deserve. I pray, Lord, that you’d use me and my husband according to Your will and purpose. Use us as instruments in proclaiming Your love and greatness that we may bring back the glory and honor unto You.

Love,
Gela